Andrew Breitbart Quick to Admonish Hell as 'Morally Depraved Bastion of Liberalism'

Friday, March 2, 2012

LAKE OF FIRE, HELL -- After less than 24 hours inside the gates of Hell, former Earthly visage and conservative commentator Andrew Breitbart is already admonishing his eternal fiery resting place as 'a morally depraved bastion of liberalism'. "I'm surrounded by freaks, unending harassment, rape -- seems more like your average Occupy Wall Street protest than it does the underworld," Breitbart said, raising his voice to be heard over the agonizing screams of tormented souls on a nearby torture rack. "I can only imagine a similar fate for America if Obama is somehow elected to a second term." Amid pools of boiling blood and unquenchable fire, Breitbart went on to say that so far in his time inhabiting the netherworld he was surprised by the sheer indignation with which the Prince of Darkness desecrates the conservative values for which Breitbart fought so valiantly, likening Satan's liberal agenda to 'a typical third-rate MSNBC smear campaign'.