Improv Troupe Goes Before Congress Seeking Better Audience Suggestions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Houston, Texas-based improvisational comedy troupe Assaulted Nuts went before Congress on Thursday, asking for legislation to improve the poor, uninspired suggestions they say they're given each week by their Buffalo Wild Wings audience. "I'll come out to ask for a suggestion of a location that can fit on the stage, but after the usual ten seconds of dead silence, 'that corner of the bar where you're standing' is the most common suggestion we get," group member Marc Biddle told the committee in a loud, contrived tone of voice without the use of the provided congressional floor microphone. "I know we only have fifteen minutes to perform while they've muted the televisions during halftime, but just once we'd like to do a scene in the employee cafeteria on the Death Star and Darth Vader is serving lunch with a hairnet over his mask, can you even imagine?!" When asked exactly how Congress could think of a creative solution, the comedy troupe jumped up and encouraged committee members to join them in walking around and exploring their surrounding space in the congressional chamber, realizing they are now in a large, mysterious warehouse filled with hundreds of boxes and when 'freeze' is called everyone in the room stops and mimes opening one of those boxes and finds an object inside, then without thinking instantly gives the object a name, texture, or another defining quality and then mimes putting the object back into the box.