Feature:

Guy Upstairs Doing Gymnastics or Something

Friday, March 12, 2010

ST. PAUL, MN -- Causing what your roommate claims is more than the average amount of normal household noise, that guy who lives one floor above you has definitely got to be doing gymnastics, or something. The disturbances, which have continued every day since you moved in last Tuesday, could either be caused by the opening and closing of kitchen drawers, moving chairs, running the washing machine, or by somersaults, handsprings, and what sounds like a pommel horse. "A few days ago I swear I heard the guy come in, slam the door, and tap dance his way to the bedroom," said your roommate Kyle, whispering quietly because he believes the guy upstairs can hear him below. "Come on, man, that guy is up to some kind of dance, or whatever." As of press time the rumblings upstairs remain a distraction, so your roommate is going to try and convince you to go upstairs, get yourself invited into that guy's apartment, and then see if he has any mini-trampolines in his living room.