Queen Latifah Returns to Rule Homeland

Thursday, February 25, 2010

ZASSZY, MADASASSGAR -- In a shocking move today, American actress and singer Queen Latifah announced she is leaving the United States of America to return and govern her native homeland of Madasassgar. Queen Latifah, 39, cited a desire to return to the roots of her first album, 1989's 'All Hail the Queen', as the driving force behind her unexpected decision to shun the Hollywood industry and ascend the throne of her home country. Among those taken aback by the stunning announcement was Madasassgar's now former Prime Minister Marc Bongolava, who explained his country had a functioning government long before Queen Latifah's 2002 Acadamy Award nominated performance in the musical 'Chicago'. "Queen Latifah is the reigning empress of sassy comedies, as evidenced by her portrayal of no-nonsense hairdresser Gina in the 2005 hit film 'Beauty Shop'," remarked Bongolava. "This was something she was obviously born to do, so we as a nation must proudly put aside our established government and embrace our destined Queen." Respond to critics from both the United Nations and US Magazine, Queen Latifah made it clear she will be taking her new role very seriously. "I will be very active in the day-to-day ruling of my nation," said the new Queen. "A sister got to get her absolute monarchy on."