Feature:

Mystery Sound Can't Be Identified Unless You Stay Quiet

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

TWINSBURG, OH -- Your household is reportedly under a noise lockdown on Tuesday after sources confirmed the existence of a mysterious, intermittent sound that cannot be identified without you first establishing an acceptable level of silence. "Sshh, there it is again," your wife said as she quickly muted the television and averted her gaze upward towards nothing in particular. "Sshh, be quiet. Do you hear it? Listen." Although you really don't think it's anything to worry about, if you'd just quit moving around in your noisy recliner and maybe stop breathing so loudly for a few seconds then the source of the noise can be found and you can get back to watching your show.