Roses & Roadapples

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Roadapples to Buddy Alkire for drivin' Jim Daniel's mower into the pond last Sunday. I was standin' there the whole time just watchin' and that was no accident, I'm serious.

Roses to the Applebees in Harrisonville for those Potato Twisters appetizers. There's a coupon for 'em in the paper.

Roadapples to the Chili's right across from that Applebees -- a thirty minute wait on a Friday night? No way, I can get a booger somewhere else, see you guys later.

Roses to Todd Haley and the Chiefs for runnin' the damn ball like I was sayin' they shoulda done last week. Like I was sayin', just give the ball to that Charles kid and go get yourself a Coke while he runs that ball up and down the field, it ain't rocket science.

Roses to Linda Barnes for finally puttin' her recycle out before the right collection day. I couldn't believe it, I was headin' down to Sam's to get a booger and hell if I don't see 'ol man Barnes' wife luggin' a big 'ol tub full a bottles and cans down their driveway. I bet when the boys picked it up the next day they were just laughin'.

Roadapples to Chuck Garner for shootin' his mouth off on Tuesday about that teacher's strike up there in Wisconsin, which he obviously don't know anything about. The only thing he's ever taught is that 'ol dog a his to lay down in the back of his truck while he's runnin' in and outta Ace Hardware a hundred times a day. You already got enough weather stripping, Chuck!

Roadapples to Jerry Crasnick for 'bout runnin' me off the road on Tuesday. He was in one hell of a hurry, so I figured he was just tryin' to get down to Sonic before the happy hour drink specials were over. I called him later and, sure enough, that's where he was goin'.