Bad Economy Forces Three Stooges to File for Unemployment Benefits

HOLLYWOOD, CA -- The Three Stooges, who have made a living for years by working hundreds of odd jobs around town such as pet dealers, census takers, and circus promoters, have been the latest victims of the country's financial woes as they were forced to file for unemployment benefits Friday afternoon. The Howard brothers, Moe and Curly, along with longtime friend Larry Fine, last worked seven months ago at the Flounder Inn restaurant as singing waiters, but have been unable to find any work since, not even as paperhangers or ice delivery men. After again avoiding eviction by paying Mrs. Jenkins the rent with unemployment checks and long lost jewels they discovered two years ago while working as plumbers, sources say the Stooges next plan on searching the want ads for any inheritances that can be claimed by spending the night in a spooky mansion.