Drunken Chris Berman Mistakenly Does Play-By-Play for Local Pinewood Derby

Friday, June 18, 2010

ANAHEIM, CA -- A clearly inebriated Chris Berman missed his assignment at Angels Stadium for the Century 21 Home Run Derby this evening, instead showing up at a VFW hall across town to do the play-by-play for a local Cub Scout troop's annual Pinewood Derby. "He. Could. Go. All. The. Way. Number twenty-one's a winner!," yelled Berman, calling his first Pinewood Derby after having done the Home Run Derby on ESPN for twelve consecutive years. "Now which one of you kids knows when Albert "Winnie the" Pujols is up?" After crowning the day's champion, eleven-year-old David "Harry and the" Henderson, Berman was last seen rumblin', bumblin', and stumblin' back-back-back-back-back-back-back to his hotel room.