Local Resident Probably Drank an Eyelash

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

LIBERTY, MO -- Unbeknownst to himself and his nearby roomate, local resident Geoffrey Blume swallowed what might have been an eyelash that was floating in his iced tea on Thursday night. Blume, 24, had raised the glass to his mouth and began to drink his homebrewed Lipton iced tea when he noticed a short, dark hair floating at the top, but before he could even begin to process what he was doing he had swallowed the first sip along with the loose hair. "It definitely looked like an eyelash", Blume recalled. "But it all happened so quick, I wasn't paying attention at all". Larry Walker, Blume's 25-year old roomate, was sitting close by during the incident and is unable to speculate on where the presumed eyelash could have come from. "To be honest with you, Geoff was drinking that iced tea so fast, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't get a good look at what kind of hair it was", Walker said. "He could have as easily drank an eyebrow hair, a nose hair, or even a head hair. Anytime you bring a cup near your face, you're playing with a perfect storm of hair".

Citing the hair's short length and slight curl, Blume is fairly certain the hair that is currently making its way through his digestive system is an eyelash, but whose eye it came from he cannot be sure. "The next order of business will be for Larry and I to sit down and compile a list of suspects, then search the apartment for any other rogue hairs of the same color," Blume said. Fearing it could lead the investigation in the wrong direction and add to Blume's already frantic state, Walker has decided to not tell his roomate that he found what he probably thinks is a pube on the couch the previous morning.